Attack of the Furby
by Genuka
Summary: Furby likes Snape. This is a one-shot & may be expanded later, it is also only marked complete because I have no idea when, how often, or even if my muse will want to play with it again. With that in mind every chapter added will still leave the complete tag on. Also, if you see it on AO3 that's me; Feel free to remind me to update either of them if the postings don't match.
1. Chapter 1

Snape ran. He ran and he ran and he ran. The blasted cuddly creature toy would not leave him alone!

Bolting down one corridor, dashing into that secret passageway, sliding down the quickly transfigured steep steps that were now a slide. Always those words followed him, haunting him. "I Luv You Daddyyyy!"

The evil thing just had to attach its self to _him_ of all people!

There was Potter! Not the best hiding place but certainly not the worst Snape could think of. The man dove behind the eighth year student, crouching as close to the ground as possible to avoid being seen.

"Professor! What?!" Harry spluttered, turning to look at the over grown bat of a man only to be forced to face back into look the previous direction while Ron tried not to laugh.

"Shut up!" Snape hissed, barely fighting back the urge to shake in fear.

Less than a minute later the magically enhanced and now sentient Furby flew by crying for "Daddyyyyy!"

"My sympathies," Ron apologized after they all stared after the evil creature floating down the hall and around the corner.

"Some idiot muggleborn Ravenclaw thought it would be a good idea to have it latch onto the magic and feed off of whoever owned it to help with homework and research," Snape explained glumly. "The spell mutated and now... well _that_ one has decided I'm its daddy."

"Come on, you can hide with us in the Room of Requirement while we work on our homework over supper," Harry offered with a slight smile, indicating no malice or harm to the man who had nearly died for him.

"Thank you!" Snape said in obvious relief. "I can't get rid of the damn thing and I'm half afraid more of them will try to bond with me."

"Don't blame you one bit for running," Ron said without rancor as they all headed for the seventh floor corridor.

* * *

 **An:** Inspired by Boredom and Secrets by XxXxDarkVampirexXxX on AO3!

I might expand later but for now its a one-shot


	2. Chapter 2

They managed to get to the Room of Requirement without incident until, that is, they tried to open the door. The flood of living toys Harry could sort of understand what with this being Hogwarts and his general luck. He could even understand the fact that the living toys kidnapped him and Snape, gagging and hogtying them before carrying them off on a wave of miniature beings. Them knocking out and ignoring Ron was only mildly irksome. No, the real thing that bugged him was the fact that the army of living toys brought them straight to the Furby and presented them as offerings to the thing as if it were their god... Harry sometimes hated his life.

"DADDYYYYYYY!" the Furby screeched gleefully before flying around the man's head chanting. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

A toy truck interrupted the demonic chanting with a series of tonal beeps and whistles indicating the two of them clearly. Unbeknownst to the two wizards the little truck was explaining how Harry and Snape had tried to protect each other when the door opened and they overwhelmed the trio. Their unexpected fall to the toys and subsequent tumble had them entangled with each other more than once in the fracas before being properly subdued and bound.

Furby floated in front of them, pondering the new information that the truck had provided before dancing in mid-air only to start doing a figure eight around their heads chanting. "Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!" Harry really didn't like the implication that he was the mother but couldn't argue with the rubber gag silencing him.

The aboriginal celebration dance that the lesser toys promptly performed was _not_ reassuring. It was even less reassuring when they were tied back to back and a toy version of Merlin approached them.

"Lord Furby has declared you his parents. He looks forwards to any younger siblings the two of you may birth for him. I now pronounce you married! Enjoy your wedded life," Merlin informed them with a smirk. A wave of the toy's hand and the two disappeared only to land on Snape's bed still tied together, gags missing.

"What the hell was that?" Harry demanded in complete confusion.

"Our marriage," Snape said miserably. "That toy was a perfect miniature of Merlin. When a perfect miniature of Merlin is possessed and isn't obviously demonic its treated like the man himself, legally and otherwise. There's a special set of laws written up about it and everything. I hope you understand that _I_ won't be the one carrying our children... we can use a surrogate."

"Shite," Harry cursed.

"Exactly," Severus agreed. "Well, we might as well get some sleep. No one is going to check in here until at least tomorrow noon."

"Night Snape," Harry said obediently and tried to go to sleep, still tied to the ex-spy.

"Good night brat," Snape said quietly once he was sure his new husband was asleep, quickly falling into oblivion himself and secure in the knowledge that he'd escaped the damn Furby.


	3. Chapter 3

Furby lurked near the hallway that would lead down to the dungeons, floating just above the stone floor. The living toy was absolutely determined to have a younger sibling. That's when the beady little eyes fell on a mixed group of first years. On the bag of one of the unaware students was an old McDonalds clip keychain of a miniature Furby.

"Ohhh," Furby murmured, his eyes shining as he stared at the miniature toy.

The attack came without warning as Furby "EEEEEKed" his way across the open stone floor, flying as if the hounds of hell were on his heels. The students scattered with the owner of the keychain going down screaming as she was tackled to floor, something pulling on her pig-tail braids. Furby briefly bounced on top of the young Ravenclaw before ripping the Baby Furby from her bag and dashing off with a triumphant war cry. He wanted to show Mama Harry and Daddy Snape his new baby brother and make them wake him up so they could play.

The occupants of the entrance hall stared after the blur of color in shock as the ecstatic cry of the animated Furby echoed through the halls before drifting into the distance.


End file.
